Endure

15/07/2021

We must learn how to endure existential solitude. Seeking other people for a quick fix is just the same as looking out for drugs, drinks, shopping, sweets, work, whatever takes your mind off your existential solitude… It is not even a quick fix, as it fixes nothing, it just postpones dealing with the matter, which will strike even harder next time. We are not always strong enough to endure in existential solitude, but we must try, whenever we are strong enough, to stay there, look it in the eye, and manage not to run away from it. Just cry it, as simple as that, cry it. It is not a matter of playing the victim, it is actually respecting the bit of you that is suffering, in need, neglected. Seeking other people for a quick fix is even worse sometimes, people can’t take their own existential drama, you can be sure they won’t take yours. They will not listen to you, they will offer some piece of advice not to deal with their own stuff, leaving you even lonelier. It is fair enough to believe they would honestly want to cheer you up, that is fine. What about when you don’t need cheering? What about when you only need someone to listen, to embrace whatever you’re dealing with without falling into the ego trap of giving you a solution. Or fake it with chocolate, cigarettes, joints or a beer. That is most likely the worst kind of loneliness. When you are not seen, considered, appreciated for who you are, your moment of existence, crying, sadness, impotence, confusion, fear, anger. And not even the biggest chocolate in the world would mend it. Chocolate not always replaces an embrace. Sometimes you just need someone to listen and hold you in their arms without a word, any sort of embarrassment, awkwardness, so that your split parts can be brought together. And there’s not that many people willing or able to do that for you.

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